Thanksgiving Reset
The Thanksgiving “Visit Reset”: From “How are you?” to “How can I help?”
@ Ms. Irons Sharpens
What are you thankful for?
Sometimes gratitude doesn’t come in grand gestures it shows up in the quiet, familiar routines that remind us who we are and what matters most.
As I write this, I’m home in New York for the holidays. Today I laughed, ran errands, and lingered in conversation with my mother but what grounded me most were the simple things:
Her making my special hot cocoa.
Rubbing lotion on my back.
Doing my laundry.
Making my bed.
Just…being my mom.
In the kitchen, she told stories I’ve heard a hundred times. But this time, I leaned in not to the words, but to her heart. And it reminded me that presence, not perfection, is the point of every holiday season.
Why This Matters Now
Holidays compress time, emotion, and expectation. For women living with chronic migraine and for the providers who care for them thanksgiving can be both beautiful and biologically demanding.
It becomes harder to hide the invisible load, and easier to feel misunderstood which means this season is the perfect moment to reset the way we check in, care, and communicate.
The Problem We Can Solve Together
1. The Invisible Load
Noise, bright lights, perfume, disrupted sleep, and travel.
Triggers stack fast and silently.
2. Scripted Small Talk
“Are you better yet?”
It lands like judgment, not care.
3. The 15-Minute Habit
Even outside the clinic, we default into quick-fix mode and
forget what people actually need is partnership, not pressure.
The holidays are your cue to change the script.
The Visit Reset
A simple 4-step rhythm you can use with family, patients, or team members this week.
1. Connection (30–60 seconds)
Try: “On a scale of 1–10, how’s your energy right now?”
Try: “What would make today feel doable?”
2. Compassion (Name + Normalize)
“You’re navigating a lot of stimulation. It makes sense your nervous system is loud today.”
3. Care (One Concrete Support)
“Would you like a quieter seat, dimmer lights, or a scent-free zone?”
“Do you want me to run interference if someone minimizes your symptoms?”
4. Communication (Agree + Wrap)
“Let’s plan a 10-minute regroup after dinner to see if anything needs adjusting.”
Provider Note:
Bring this same rhythm to discharge instructions, portal messages, and group visits. Micro-moments of clarity prevent macro-moments of crisis.
Boundaries with Grace
If you’re the patient:
“I’m happy to be here. I’ll step out if the noise spikes; it’s not personal.”
“I’m staying scent-free today so I can stay present longer.”
If you’re the host or clinician:
“We’re doing a scent-light gathering thank you for using unscented products.”
“Here’s a quiet room if anyone needs a reset.”
Build a Sensory-Smart Table
Lighting: Warm, dimmable lamps instead of overhead glare.
Sound: One music source, moderate volume; soft furnishings to reduce echo.
Smell: Skip strong candles and aerosols; open a window when possible.
Seating: Offer corner seating with back support and easy exit access.
Timing: Share a predictable meal window.
Recovery: Create a “soft landing” space blanket, water, eye mask.
The 3 Questions That Change Everything
“What does support look like for you today?”
“What would help you stay present a little longer?”
“What would make leaving early feel easy and guilt-free?
This Thanksgiving, let’s trade fixing for partnering.
The visit reset turns pressure into presence for everyone at the table.
If you’re a clinic or hospital leader, I offer Empathy to Action micro-trainings that equip teams with Visit Reset tools for the holidays and beyond.
Reach out to schedule a consultation.
Stay tuned for next weeks blog as I continue sharing this journey of perseverance setbacks, small victories, and hope. Schedule a consultation here: https://ironsconsultinggroupllc.com/contactus
visit us @ironsconsultinggroupllc.com and follow us on social media.
